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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The "Confederates" (Written as a freshman in college)

The soldiers gathered around the colonel swiftly and quietly. Plans must be made; for the enemy lie in wait on the other side of the valley. Every year about the same season the enemy came haunt the surrounding woods and forests. It had become quite an annoyance to the inhabitants.

"Quiet!" Colonel said as loudly and demanding as was possible under the circumstances. "The element of surprise is of the utmost importance. There is no way that we will win the battle if we are announcing our arrival!"

Immediately the rustling and whispering of the soldiers ceased. All of their attention was focused on their seemingly invincible leader. He had been in the thick of the battles for many years now and deserved the honor and respect due someone of his position.

Colonel had a grim outlook on life. His parents were killed in a battle when he was very young. Because of their premature death Colonel had no siblings. He grew up alone and it had made him hard. This was a quality much needed in the service. His anger at the foe for killing his parents stayed with through the years. It had festered a hatred for the enemy deep within. Despite the hard trails that life had brought him the colonel stood tall and handsome with tufts of chest hair protruding in every which direction. He had a demanding presence about him.

"We need to plan for the adversaries. The same plan that we use every season is good. They fall for it every time. Prancer, you run directly through the field. Run fast or they might have half a chance to shoot. Blitzen, you stand behind that clump of bushes on the east side of the battlefield. Make sure your chest and sides are well hidden. Don't give them a clear shot. The rest of you split into groups. Group One scatter yourselves over by Blitzen. Groups Two quietly work your way over to where Prancer will exit the field and enter the forest again. Your job is to help distract in case of an emergency. Alright, each of you have a job. Let's do it!"

As the colonel finished his analysis of the procedure, the members of the Confederacy dispersed to their assigned positions.

Once again, the deer would win against the dull-witted human.


*Remember I wrote this as freshman. All grammar and plot critiques will be ignored. lol
** Inspired by my brother's many "almost" stories during deer season.

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha Ha!!! I especially loved the chest hair part. =) Really funny stuff.